Attack of the cosmos
by Setbythesystem
Summary: This is a Shane Dawson fanfic. I'm really sorry for this. It was suppose to be normal but I messed up. Sorry.


Authors notes: I'm really, really sorry for how this turned out. I really meant for it to just be what I thought would be a regular Shane Dawson fanfic. I don't know how it turned out like it did at the end. Sorry...

Other recent projects:

"Water works" a "just my luck" fanfic

Attack of the cosmos

Every morning should be this way, waking up to birds chirping, sun shining and another dog to add to the others. Lisa looked adorable in her little dress that Shane began riding up against in sexual agony in seconds. Yes, today was quite a day. He finally was going to get to interview Farrah Abraham and in a completely organic way unlike last time. All the noise was wonderful news and how can anything get any better?

It was when he walked outside that he saw his first occurrence of what he'll call one of those Amanda Bynes moments. It started off quite small, you know just Miley Cyrus showing up at his house and dragging herself around on the ground with grass getting shoved up her pussy just to have her finger it into herself. You know normal stuff. He could have thought up something like that in a second (much like I have.) Than it got weirder… Was that Shanaynay? Was she black or white? For some reason he could not tell something like that which he should completely be able to tell but his brain is failing him right now. He was sure it was Shanaynay though. There is no way it can't be. Weaves, triple eyebrows, and an obvious hanging dead Santa just like he'd imagine would be written in a script one day.

She flopped the Santa on the ground where he saw that it had bullet holes around it that formed into a shape of a penis and then was given rainbow sprinkles and glue for jizz. As much as he wanted to say he already did that there was another part of him which wanted to question this entire thing in a whole. Shanaynay then jumped onto Corny who just came out after Shane left the door open. Corny didn't seem to be bothered by this at all though but it did as hell bother Shane.

"Corny!"

This freaked her out and she began to pee and then the pee began to turn into smoky clouds which made both Shanaynay and Corny fly off into the sky. Bitch this be cray cray. There is no direction for this day to go in or for him to even go in. Maybe he should just go back inside… He turned around and his house wasn't even there anymore. All he could find was a field of blooming cocaine trees. He was not sure (as I am not) if cocaine grows on trees but he was pretty sure they wouldn't be shaped like Joe Jonas's nips after they have been implanted with a rod that made them stick out ten feet from the ground. From the nips spurred out the cocaine that piled up around it to have little Mexican children come and pick it up so they can get their family out of dept.

He needed to stop and take a breath mint. There was no way in hell this was actually real life. God must have lost his shit when he was creating Shane. There was no way in hell this could get worse (or better depending on your views.) He began walking down the street to marvel at all the weird creations that came up. He saw all the kids from his school form into a massive ball of children who then performed Katamari on everything's asses. The children were crying in hysteria as they chanted the greatest words of wisdom known to man "If you don't buy it they can't sell it." The ugliest of it was yet to come though…

It was when Shane got to his studio (without even realizing how he got there) that everything suddenly got normal. Laura and him had a normal (as far as he's concerned) conversation about how their weeks went. Funny considering he couldn't remember his week. Then it was Farrah Abraham time!

"Can you believe what she did this time I'm surprised she didn't get arrested for it."

He of course was completely out of it so it's not like he has much to say.

"Shane?"

He could not think straight. Over there was a small dog who looked familiar but wasn't. How long has it been? He looked over to the clock which just was filled with numbers that had no pattern to them. Whenever the hands on the clock turned the lights outside changed drastically to match a different time of the day. How the fuck was this happening? The little dog came closer to him and he recognized it as a dog he's seen in the shelter before. But as the light changed again the dog was gone. Then things got a bit more extreme again.

He saw Lisa wearing a suit lying on top of Joey who was wearing a wedding dress. She began to pull his panties down till she showed "him" to have a penis coming out of what looked like a vagina like an open flower. Lisa then pulled hers out which instead had the vagina on top of the penis looking a lot like a mushroom. Luckily the imagery didn't stay long enough to know how they were going to have sex as he came into a different place.

This one was a lot more calm. The path along which he stood was just pieces of whatever. The sky looked to be in constant reach of him but once he moved his hand up the sky just was shadowed over by it, soon though it began to fall all over him to blur his own body out. He felt nothing of it and he could move his body around freely but he could see none of it.

He was sent back to the slightly less disturbing "reality" he was in before. In there he was now back out on the streets. In the air he saw the clouds turn into questionable shaped food. It was a nice change from what was previous. Maybe if it could stay somewhere along the lines of this it would be alright, just no more of those disturbing dreams. The sky began to change into what he saw before and it mixed in with a lot of what was made in this dream. His body began to disappear again, this time though he could see a small outline of his arms and hands. He tried to touch his face but he never could it always felt like it was held back by the sky. He felt his arms constantly moving closer but never did they look as though they were. The world became enveloped by the sky and all that could be seen was the blue it was represented by. Life became the color blue.

He closed his eyes for now. He couldn't imagine opening them up again. He met up with a face of something he could never describe. He decided to make up a name for it since there is no words to describe it "Nav". Telling the world and what it looked can only be described as something between human and a pig. It shape changed though ever so slightly whenever it spoke. Please don't talk anymore. Please don't talk like this anymore.

When he woke up he lay in bed just like he was in the dream. Please don't wake up. He stepped out of bed and went down stairs. Please don't come home. He went outside and saw nothing. Please don't see me.


End file.
